From Tight Fisted Faith to Open Hands: Lessons learned during this season of weakness

      Eleven months ago, I found myself in the ER getting a blood transfusion. My blood count was less than half of what my body needed to function and I was at serious risk of a stroke or heart attack. I’ve always been a healthy person, so this was a very surprising thing to occur in my life. I had become very sick and the cause was not clear. I spent the next 3 months being screened for different forms of cancer, autoimmune diseases, heart irregularities and the like. I was at the doctor for testing every week. I had two surgeries this year that were thought to be the solution; neither were. While they did alleviate a few symptoms, I am still not well and testing continues.

"HOLD YOUR BREATH, MAMA!!"
Even though I tried to hide many of my symptoms,
 this little guy had a keen sense and was always
trying to help me get better.

How I got here......

Over the past few years, I have felt a deep heaviness that will just wash over me at the worst times. It is an undeniable, deep rooted fear of failure. It takes different forms and hits me in different ways, but the source of it is always fear. Fear is this monster that makes us question everything we are doing and distracts us from the path we are on. I would start to feel like it’s all up to me….everything…. and without realizing it, little by little I had stopped relying on God and started relying on myself.

Then I got sick, and everything changed. I spent almost every single day of last school year running a fever, chilling, having body aches, weakness throughout my body and just general pain from head to toe. Most nights the discomfort kept me from sleeping through the night and I never once felt rested. Emotionally, I was falling apart, and fighting back tears on a daily basis. Mentally, I was a fuzzy mess!

Today, I choose JOY

I will not let the worries and busyness of this day, rob me of precious memories that each day affords. Because today, I choose JOY. A joy that comes from God when I fix my eyes on Him. A joy that comes from worshiping the Lord in all that I do. Today, I choose Joy!

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2

Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you. Isaiah 12:6

Today, I choose CONFIDENCE

I will not let the fog of doubt and fear paralyze me in my best efforts as a mom and teacher. Because today, I choose confidence. A confidence in Christ who created me in His image and equips me for each day that I serve Him. Giving my best in my love and devotion to lead my children daily. I know I will fail and will come up short in something today. But in confidence I will continue on, knowing that I am only an instrument in my childrens' lives. It is God who will find their hearts and guide their steps to seek Him fully.

The 8 tricks and jimmy rigs I used to turn my resistant readers into book lovers.

(That might be stretching it! Lets say, "real book likers" instead!)

I'll admit it, I am not a literary aficionado. I actually despised reading until 3rd grade and then only developed the ability to tolerate it after that. Four years of college prep school, followed by four years of undergraduate school, and I doubt I read half of the books I was assigned! That is so embarrassing to admit, but it's the truth. I did whatever I could to avoid reading a book cover to cover. I became a master skimmer, I watched the movies, asked friends to summarize reading assignments, and even read...or rather skimmed cliff notes (apparently even reading those was asking too much).

Family Egg Drop Challenge

I think that I may just be a closet Full House fanatic. Well, not the current me, but the teenage me for sure. It's true, I watched re-runs all the way through high school and even remember getting quite disappointed in the Spring, when Major League Baseball games on TV would mess up my afternoon ritual! Also, I'm pretty sure I thought Candace Cameron would be my best friend, if ever we were to meet. My boys are now fans too. I guess good taste runs in the family (wink wink). In fact, our DVR has reached over 30 episodes a few times. My husband on the other hand, feels like his skin is going to crawl right off of his body, every time he sees my TGIF show coming on. All of this to say, Full House had this episode where they made an egg-drop contraption and dropped it off the balcony into the living room. I loved that episode! I thought it would be so much fun to make an egg-drop project....and have a balcony!

Nutrition Week Wrap-Up

We wrapped up a week-long study on the Digestive System and Nutrition, with a trip to Nana's house. My mom, being the Nana that she is, has a well stocked kitchen. It is filled with cookies, candy, sugary drinks, ice cream sandwiches, spray cheese, buttery crackers, and whatever else a grandchild's tummy may desire. Not exactly a glowing example of health and nutrition. Now, right about here she is going to insist on me clarifying that she doesn't JUST feed them sugary and salty snacks! But come on, we all know that's what the grand kids are anticipating on the car ride to Grandpa and Nana's house.

Sarah Hale is America's Thanksgiving Miracle

Have you ever heard of Sarah Hale? No? Well, until last year when I stumbled upon this wonderful book, I had never heard of her or her courageous life story! I have not done extensive research on her, but after reading this book to my kids and reading up on her life, I have concluded, that Sarah Hale was outstanding!