From Tight Fisted Faith to Open Hands: Lessons learned during this season of weakness

      Eleven months ago, I found myself in the ER getting a blood transfusion. My blood count was less than half of what my body needed to function and I was at serious risk of a stroke or heart attack. I’ve always been a healthy person, so this was a very surprising thing to occur in my life. I had become very sick and the cause was not clear. I spent the next 3 months being screened for different forms of cancer, autoimmune diseases, heart irregularities and the like. I was at the doctor for testing every week. I had two surgeries this year that were thought to be the solution; neither were. While they did alleviate a few symptoms, I am still not well and testing continues.

"HOLD YOUR BREATH, MAMA!!"
Even though I tried to hide many of my symptoms,
 this little guy had a keen sense and was always
trying to help me get better.

How I got here......

Over the past few years, I have felt a deep heaviness that will just wash over me at the worst times. It is an undeniable, deep rooted fear of failure. It takes different forms and hits me in different ways, but the source of it is always fear. Fear is this monster that makes us question everything we are doing and distracts us from the path we are on. I would start to feel like it’s all up to me….everything…. and without realizing it, little by little I had stopped relying on God and started relying on myself.

Then I got sick, and everything changed. I spent almost every single day of last school year running a fever, chilling, having body aches, weakness throughout my body and just general pain from head to toe. Most nights the discomfort kept me from sleeping through the night and I never once felt rested. Emotionally, I was falling apart, and fighting back tears on a daily basis. Mentally, I was a fuzzy mess!

Today, I choose JOY

I will not let the worries and busyness of this day, rob me of precious memories that each day affords. Because today, I choose JOY. A joy that comes from God when I fix my eyes on Him. A joy that comes from worshiping the Lord in all that I do. Today, I choose Joy!

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2

Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you. Isaiah 12:6

Today, I choose CONFIDENCE

I will not let the fog of doubt and fear paralyze me in my best efforts as a mom and teacher. Because today, I choose confidence. A confidence in Christ who created me in His image and equips me for each day that I serve Him. Giving my best in my love and devotion to lead my children daily. I know I will fail and will come up short in something today. But in confidence I will continue on, knowing that I am only an instrument in my childrens' lives. It is God who will find their hearts and guide their steps to seek Him fully.

Shoop Troop Elementary

In the summer of 2012, we finally decided to take the plunge and start homeschooling. I asked my husband to just give me the chance to see if we could do it. He had lots of concerns, and so did I, but in the end we knew we would never know unless we tried. We decided to tell the boys that it would be a one year trial and at the end of the year we would all sit-down, evaluate how it went and decide if it was worth doing again. Well, it didn't take close to a year to realize it was what was best for our family. That's not to say it has been easy.....heavens no! But, it has been a blessing and a chance to grow so much closer to our boys.

We have 4 children. Our oldest, my stepson, is 14 and is finishing his 8th grade year. Although, he has asked to be homeschooled, and we would love it if he was, he has two families and it just isn't a possibility.

Our 2nd oldest son is 9 and in the 3rd grade. He was the hardest to convince about leaving public school, but now he is my biggest fan!

Our 3rd son is 6, almost 7, and in 1st grade. Nothing bothers this kid! He just goes with the flow and homeschool was fine by him.

And our 4th son is now 2 years old, and currently a tot-on-a-tear! He has brought a whole new crazy, loud, disruptive, frustrating, and oftentimes funny side to this school year.

Our school days start around 8:30 or whenever I have finished a cup of coffee. We try to finish by 1pm, although, sometimes it takes longer and some days we even finish as early as 11am. We only have school on Monday-Thursday and have the same days off as our local school. This way the kids don't have to be tortured by hearing the neighborhood kids outside playing.

The curriculum we use is a smorgasbord of things I have pieced together from sales, clearances, used books, online printables, etc. Next school year I will hopefully be more prepared, but this year I did the best I could! I have the grade level benchmarks and the kids are meeting all of them in perfect time, so I know we are on the right track.

And that is a day in the life of Shoop Troop Elementary!

A Friendly Hello

After much debate and reservation, I've decided to start this blog. There is definitely no shortage of blogs about homeschooling, and that is one reason it has been a difficult decision. But I've decided, that if for no other reason, I need to do this for me. A place to exhale at the end of a long day or week and share the stories that only my husband and grandparents usually hear. I know I'm just a newbie at this homeschooling thing, and still have many lessons to learn, but I will share with you, everything I figure out along the way. I hope you will follow me on this adventure and get a glimpse into my very blessed, chaotic, and wonderful life with my boys and my husband.